Friday, October 6, 2017

Trials and Triumph

Before I left for the Philippines a little over a month ago, I faced a series of trials that challenged me so much. It all started when I got to training... the first day of training, I was stung twice on my left hand, immobilizing it for the next week while my arm was swollen up to my elbow. Thankfully, by the  following week, it had decreased in size considerably. Just as my hand was decreasing in size, I got a poison ivy rash that made the rest of training pretty miserable. The following week, I injured my foot in a cross fit session, though at the time I didn't realize how bad the injury was. The next two weeks were filled with so much information at training, difficult decisions, and dealing with three deaths. I didn't think a whole lot about what was happening until I was trying to deal with three deaths in such a short period of time - having lost only one close person to me in my life. I didn't even have time to process or grieve with all that was going on, and I started to wonder why this was happening. I continued on, still strong in knowing that I was doing what God wanted me to do. As soon as I got home from training, I ended up going to see a doctor about my foot injury, since it had been a month since the injury and it still really hurt. I ended up in a boot - a week before I was supposed to fly out to the Philippines. I had no idea how that was going to work! The following Sunday, we left on a family vacation. The first destination was my great aunt's memorial service in Idaho. I was so grateful to be able to attend at least one memorial - it gave me a chance to process through and grieve at least one of the deaths. After the memorial, my family and I headed toward Portland, OR, where we were going to spend a few days with my brother. We stopped in Walla Walla for the night, and while we were there, my car was broken into and ransacked. A lot of valuable stuff was stolen - including my laptop, wallet, and Bible. After spending hours trying to cancel all my cards, figuring out what all was taken, and doing a police report, we were finally on our way again to Portland. That's when I really started to struggle - why now? Why me? Why all of this? Later that day, I got a call from the police saying they had recovered my Bible and Driver's license. That was such a relief! The loss of my Bible was just as huge to me as the loss of my computer. At least I was able to get that back! Even so, I was so stressed the whole vacation - we attempted an insurance claim, which ended up not being worth it, so we dropped it. My cousin's fiance started a GoFundMe page to help cover the cost of everything I had to replace before I left for the Philippines. I was overwhelmed by the response! Even through this difficult time, God's love was shining through the friends and family that donated to help out! I felt a sense of relief, but was still struggling.  On our way back from vacation, I was able to stop and pick up what the police had recovered. To my surprise - everything from my wallet was there except for the cash I had. Unfortunately, that also meant that the card I was planning to take with me overseas was void and the new one probably wouldn't come in time. That weekend was spent hectic-ly preparing for my trip. Saturday night, we left pretty late for the hotel by the airport. On the way out, we checked the mail. To my surprise, the replacement card for the one I had planned to take with me was in the mail! One small confirmation that God still had His hand in this. I got a few hours of sleep, said a very sad goodbye to my parents, and headed off for Seattle at the crack of dawn. I was so tired and not too happy about my 7 hour layover in Seattle - especially when I had to pick up my luggage, then sit for 3 hours until the ticket counter opened for my international flight. I went to check in for my international flight, only to realize I had way too much weight on my carry on. I was so frustrated. I pulled my baggage to the side and repacked my luggage, trying to fit everything in my second carry on into my checked luggage. (Since then, I've gotten a few tips from seasoned travelers). I fit most everything in, checked my luggage, then spent the next couple hours trying to figure out how to get my extra piece of luggage back to my family. I felt like I was running back and forth in the airport with my luggage, hindered by a huge boot on my foot. Some friends of the family were very willing to come to the airport and pick it up and get it back to my family. That was a huge answer to prayer! I finally got through security and sank into a seat at my gate. I was so tired, so frustrated, and very discouraged. I'd seen sides to myself that I didn't realized were there and I sat there praying that God would change those things in me and teach me to take things in stride and trust Him when it seemed like everything was going wrong. I finally made it onto the flight and was able to take the boot off to rest my aching foot. I didn't sleep much that flight, but it was the least scary flight I ever had (I generally get pretty bad anxiety on flights... Thankfully that's improving). I was amazed how it stayed light the whole way!! I left Seattle at 2 PM and landed in South Korea at 5 PM, and it never got dark. In South Korea, I followed the crowd straight through the doors instead of up the stairs and ended up almost missing my connecting flight. I was hanging out by my gate talking with my parents trying to figure out when they were going to open these locked doors - and wondering why no-one was there - when an airport personnel walked by and told me I was supposed to be upstairs! I ran through the airport (really hard to do in a boot!), ended up having to go through security again, and raced to my gate, just in time to say hi to someone who had been in training with me and be one of the last people to board the flight. Too close.. I ended up with a young Filipino guy as a seat neighbor. He seemed a little too friendly, so I tried to shorten my answers then told him I was tired and proceeded to sleep the rest of the flight. I got into Manila about midnight, stood through a very long line at customs, then tried to find my team. As soon as I got through customs, I couldn't get on a Wi-Fi that would allow my to call anyone, so I was on my own. I went from person to person asking where I was supposed to go. Finally someone was able to direct me and I ended up in a taxi with two guys. I was terrified! I prayed the whole way that they were taking me where I wanted to go and no where else. Thankfully, they dropped me off at the right place, then ripped me off. Oh well... I hear that only happens once. Breathing a prayer of thanks that I was safe at the next terminal, I went from person to person again trying to find the little hotel I was supposed to find my team at. Finally, close to 2AM, I finally found them. I was happier than you can imagine! I got a nice hot shower (the last hot shower I'll have for a while), then crawled in bed to get an hour and a half of sleep before we had to be up for our next flight. Thankfully the rest of the trip passed without incident. We arrived in Brooke's Point too late to hike into Kemantian that day, so we spent the night and hiked in the next morning. Hiking in the tropics really isn't much fun. Ten minutes in, I was pouring sweat and wondering if the 1.5 liters of water I brought was enough. A couple of the high school boys had come down to hike us in, and we gawked at them as they hiked, carrying very heavy packages and ending up carrying our backpacks as well (we weren't moving very fast with them on, so the Palawano boys carried them so we could hike faster). Finally, many rests and 4 hours later, we made it to Kemantian. As soon as we arrived, we ate, showered, then started boot camp. We decided that boot camp was designed in order to get culture shock over with as quickly as possible. We lived just like the Palawanos - slept on bamboo slats, hunted for food in the jungle, cooked over an open fire, lived in the dorm with girls who spoke no English. It was a much bigger shock than any of us had imagined. Again, I saw things in my character that I had to start praying about and asking God to change. It was amazing to watch Him change those things in my heart over the course of boot camp! I hoped that since I finally made it here, things might get a little easier. That definitely didn't happen! At least, not at first. Toward the end of boot camp, I came down with a nasty cold that drained the rest of my energy. Thankfully, by then, I had grown more accustomed to the way of life here and was ok. After that, things for much easier. I've since looked back and wondered why all those things happened. I know a few happened just so I could see things in my character that needed fixing. The rest.... I really don't know. I may not know until heaven. Maybe it was a test to see if I'd push through and follow what I knew God was calling me to do even though things were difficult. Maybe it had nothing to do with me at all. I'm just thankful that it's over and pray that I'm stronger and my faith is stronger than it was before.
After boot camp, we were given our job descriptions. One of my team members and I will be heading to a little village two hours from Kemantian as soon as we're finished training into our positions. We will be reopening the clinic and school there. It will really be like boot camp was but now we are prepared :) We've faced another trial for the last month - an electronic fast. It was fine not having the electronics; what was difficult was not having communication with our families. I wrote a lot of letters and prayed a lot!!Thankfully that has come to a close.  We're spending 2-3 mornings/week now learning clinic work, and 2 mornings/week shadowing one of the teachers. Afternoons are spent language learning. Language learning is our trial right now. It's so difficult, though it is rewarding every so often when you have a conversation with someone and can pick up most of what they are saying.
A week or so ago, I got a message from my family letting me know that the police recovered most, if not all, of the items that were stolen from my car.  What a miracle! I thought my computer was lost forever!!
Another miracle is that my foot is almost healed! I spent the first week trying to wear my boot here in the mountains. It was so treacherous! The trails around here are so steep and slippery since it's rainy season that I finally gave up. I didn't do anything with it, just endured the pain for a couple weeks until one of the other student missionaries gave me a stern talking to (they say nurses and doctors make the worst patients - it's so true!!). I started taping my foot with paper tape, which worked well, but was a pain to clean all the glue off my foot every night. Finally one of the nurses suggested coban. I've been using that since and it has been working great! I noticed the other day when I forgot to wrap it that it actually didn't hurt to walk on it. What a praise! I was worried that it would never heal since I want able to rest it at all, but God is faithful! I can't wait to see what He'll continue to do through the rest of this year!

1 comment:

  1. Samantha, God has carried you through such a rough, truly rough beginning. Talk about "Boot Camp!" Spiritual, physical, emotional, you've had to go through it all. Thank you so much for sharing your experience in such detail that I feel like I'm right there. I am thrilled to hear of your trust in God through it all. I also pray for healing at all levels in your life as you move into focusing on others' needs. I am praying for you, dear girl!!

    Love you so very much,
    Aunt Connie.

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